I have a very geeky boyfriend. Comic books. Video Games. Pokémon. Etc.
Super mature, I know, but I absolutely love it. Due to this geekiness we ABSOLUTELY MUST SEE EVERY SUPERHERO MOVIE EVERRRRR. Which I am totally okay with because, hey who doesn't love superheroes? It also helps that I have a pretty geeky side myself.
So last weekend we went to see The Wolverine.
This movie focuses on Wolverine's Japan story line, opening with Logan in a 1945 Japanese camp during the Nagasaki bombing. In true Wolverine fashion he saves an officer by the name of Yashida and protects him from the blast. I love that Wolverine acts all tough and badass (which he is) but will still save people who imprison him.
Another example of his caring badass side comes when the movie jumps to present day. Living off the land in the Yukon, Logan comes across a group of hunters in distress one night. A bear has torn apart the hunters camp, along with most of the hunters. Poor hunters right? NO. Turns out one of the hunters shot the bear with an illegal poison tipped arrow. WHAT A JERK. So now the bear is lying there slowly dying. Logan comes to the rescue, mercifully putting the bear out of its misery. But wait, there's more! He proceeds to find the one pathetic hunter that was so cruel to the bear and pierces his hand with the arrow he used on the bear! Poetic justice. This is when Yukio comes in.
Yukio has been sent from her employer, Yashida, to track Logan down. Yashida is dying and would like to say goodbye to the man who saved him all those years ago. Oh, and Yukio is a super fighter. Gotta love those strong female characters.
In Tokyo, Logan discovers that Yashida wants to relieve Logan of his immortality by transferring it into himself so that he may live. Alright Yashida, presenting it as a helpful offer doesn't change the fact that you're essentially killing a man, way to repay a debt. Logan meets Yashida's granddaughter Mariko who is pretty, but sad for unknown reasons There's also a super attractive/creepy blonde doctor taking care of Yashida, super sketchy. Logan refuses Yashida's offer and makes plans to leave the following morning. During all of this Logan has been having dreams of Jean Grey (you know, that crazy phoenix girl he had to kill in the last X-Men movie), so when he has an odd encounter with creepy blonde doctor putting something in his body he dismisses it as another realistic dream. Plus she has a slithery reptile tongue, totally a dream right??
Yashida passes away during the night and everyone heads to his funeral the next day. Logan notices that the priests have some pretty impressive tattoos hiding under their robes. I'm honestly a little surprised it took The Wolverine as long as it did to piece together that this was not normal. After a slightly long hesitation he springs into action. Alas, even through his hard efforts Mariko has been kidnapped. Alright, what is up with this girl and why does everyone seem to be after her?? Something's up. During the fight Logan discovers that his body is not healing as it had before. dun, Dun, DUN! Pushing through his injuries, Logan follows the kidnappers to a train station and gets Mariko back by awesomely fighting dudes on top of a BULLET TRAIN. Do you know how fast those things are?? Totally unrealistic, but still super awesome. So this chick Mariko has been ridiculously pouty and ungrateful during this entire ordeal, what a brat.
Logan and Mariko travel to Yashida's home in Nagasaki, where Logan saved Yashida those many years before. So they shop for food and Logan has a touching moment seeing the location where he saved Yashida before they settle in to their little safe haven. Night falls. INSERT SUPER OBVIOUS LOVE/SEX SCENE. Come guys, it was like right in your face, no surprises. Plus I don't get what super awesome Wolverine sees in a whiny girl, but whatevs. At this point Mariko has revealed that her grandfather had left her the entire company he built from scratch, instead of giving it to his son/Mariko's father. OHHHHH okay so that explains why people are after her, daddy's jealous. Not very original, but let's roll with it.
Logan wakes up in the morning without Mariko next to him, but proceeds to casually get up and look for her. Come on dude, this chick has people looking for her everywhere and this doesn't concern you? Sure enough he hears her cries as she is being dragged to a car nearby. Logan follows her to Yashida's estate, but she has already been taken to another location. Logan decides he should probably check out his body in the x-ray machine to see if anything is preventing him from healing. Sure enough he has some creepy parasite in him hangin' out by heart. I guess that dream about the creepy, reptile tongue doctor wasn't a dream. Whoops.
HE THEN PROCEEDS TO CUT HIS HEART OUT OF HIS CHEST TO GET THE PARASITE OUT.
So who's super badass? The Wolverine. Did I mention this is after Yukio had a vision of him dying with his heart in his hand (she has a mutation allowing her some foresight)?? Oh no, The Wolverine is dead. Whatever shall we do now??? Don't worry, that wasn't sarcastic at all.... Sure enough Logan starts to get his regenerative abilities back and they escape, killing Mariko's father in the process.
Following Mariko's trail Logan ends up in Yashida's birthplace where he has built a facility of some sort. Creepy doctor lady shows up in an outfit reminiscent of Poison Ivy. Wait, which superhero movie are we watching? Turns out this reptile lady is Viper. No back story. No explanation about her character. Nada. Viper puts Logan in a machine that locks his claws when we exposes them and reveals that she plans on harvesting Logan's healing capabilities. At this point we are introduced to The Silver Samurai. Oooooo scary. Yashida has been hoarding adamantium (a.k.a. the metal throughout Wolverine's body, for those of you who need to go brush up on your X-Men facts) to build a super soldier. The Silver Samurai attacks Logan and severs his claws in the process (according to my geeky bf, this was not in the comic books). During the fighting Viper becomes injured and then SHEDS LIKE A SNAKE to heal herself. Ick. Double ick. She isn't so attractive anymore. The Silver Samurai has been specifically designed to extract Logan's capabilities and proceeds to do so through his broken claws/bones . As I watch and cringe in horror the suit opens up to reveal Yashida! Shocker, right? Not so much. Yashida slowly reverts back to the younger version of himself that we saw Logan save in the first few minutes of the movie, enjoying every minute of weakening Wolverine. Alright, this guy has got to go. Logan regrows his claws (without the adamantium coating) and finishes off Yashida. Yay!! The good guys win!
We speed ahead in time to see that Mariko has become the CEO of the Yashida Corporation. Logan bids farewell to her as he gets on a jet she has let him borrow. Yukio, being the awesome character she is, keeps her promise to be his bodyguard in asking "So, where do we go next?", or something along those lines. She was my favorite.
Allons-y!
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